Cancer Scare Timeline

THURSDAY MORNING: Went for a regular check-up with my oncologist. He determined that a combination of factors warranted testing to check for returning cancer. Did a blood test in the office and gave them the "best number to reach me at". Put on a brave face and tried to ignore the panic welling up inside.

THURSDAY AFTERNOON: Played with my kids. Wondered how I would tell them their mommy has cancer--again. Remembered the power of my miracle and realized that nothing is impossible with God.

FRIDAY MORNING: Stood in a circle of my friends and co-workers as they approached the throne boldly on my behalf. Cried. Looked around and was amazed to see so many of them in tears as well.

FRIDAY AFTERNOON: Received a call that the CA-125 was normal. Didn't really believe it because I had the same results in July '07, and they were wrong. Returned a call from the hospital and was surprised to be able to schedule the CT scan for the next morning.

SATURDAY MORNING: Dropped off a dozen donuts, a quart of chocolate milk, and my 3 boys at Shannon's house. Said a prayer thanking God for such a great friend and asking him to preserve her sanity while I was gone. Drove to the hospital. Spent 3 hours drinking barium, praying I wouldn't get sick, and doing the scan and x-rays. Left there relieved it was over and asking God for clear scans. Picked up my kids.

SATURDAY AFTERNOON: Went to see Madagascar 2. Fell asleep in Madagascar 2. Promised myself I'd go to bed early.

SUNDAY: Went to church. Hosted a playdate for Goliath. Tried hard to conquer Mount Laundry. Took a gift to a friend who just lost her mom. Got perspective. Took the boys to Awana.

MONDAY: Got a phone call: ALL CLEAR. Wept with relief and gratitude. Called my Hubby. Rejoiced together. Called everyone else. Got busy preparing to really celebrate Thanksgiving.

"When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. Psalm 94:18-19

What Would You Do With a Duck?

So much awesomeness happens when we're in the car. Yesterday, we were out and about, running errands. We drove by a park we've visited before, where there is a duck pond. Here's the conversation snippet:

Little Middle: Look, Mommy! There's the park! Can we go there and feed the ducks pleeaassee?

Baby: I can feed the ducks by myself!

Me: Maybe we could go tomorrow. It would be fun to visit the ducks.

Little Middle: Yeah, and we could take a duck home with us.

Me: You want to have a duck for a pet?

Baby: I want a duck for my pet. It says QUACK.

Little Middle: I don't want a duck for a pet. I want to get a duck for my dinner!

All I Need

I will lift my eyes to the hills--from whence comes my help?

My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to be moved;

He who keeps you will not slumber.

Psalms 121:1-3

For I am the LORD your God,

who takes hold of your right hand

and says to you,

"Do not fear, I will help you."

Isaiah 41:13

Happy Birthday, Baby!

Dear Baby,

Today you turned 3 years old. This morning I re-read the letter I wrote on your birthday last year...what a difference a year makes! Over the last 12 months, you have transformed from a baby into a little boy. You are much more of a playmate to your brothers instead of being on the outside looking in. You have developed your own friendships, your own likes and dislikes (especially when it comes to food!), and your own way of doing things. Your little personality has emerged, and I have to say: You are delightful!

We celebrated your birthday at the zoo. Just the family (plus Aunt Jenny and Howie) went, but we determined you are old enough to invite a friend. You picked Bransyn, your best little buddy. The two of you together are so funny! I love to watch you interact with other kids. Sharing is still sometimes a challenge, and you may be a tad bit bossy, but you are generous with hugs and fun. You have lots of friends at school and church...I am so proud of you!

Oh, how you make us laugh! You are quite the conversationalist. Just the other day, I admired a piece of your artwork and said I thought it was beautiful. You replied, "It certainly is, Mommy!" Everything you say has its own rhyme and reason to it--many of your sentences begin with the word "because." You have unique facial expressions and a keen sense of timing...you can go from Baby to Muppet Baby in no time at all!

Another phrase you say often is "I can do it by myself!" You do not care for us to help you with anything. You want to put on your pajamas, buckle your seatbelt, put on your shoes (God forbid I tell you which feet they go on), brush your teeth, put the lid on your cup, climb into your chair--ALL by yourself. Nothing makes you madder than me helping you with something you have determined you can do alone. Sometimes your independence can be exasperating, but I'll be the first to give you a high five when you get it right! At night, though, when it's time to tuck you in and pull the covers up around you--only Mommy will do. I hope you never get too big for that.

My heart is full tonight, Baby boy. This past year has been a time of healing for me in many ways. My health has been restored, my strength rebuilt, and my spirit renewed. Every morning when you bring your blue blanket for some cuddle time, I am reminded of God's absolute sovereignty and faithfulness. You have completed our family and you still take my breath away.

From your head down to your toes

You're not much, goodness knows

But you're so precious to me,

Sweet as can be,

Baby of mine.

I love you,

Mommy

Tidbits

*This weekend we are having Baby's birthday "party"--which will actually be a trip to the zoo with family (+ one friend) and a cake. He turns 3 next Tuesday. I am happy and sad at the same time...my Baby boy is growing up.

*After what seems like a very long time, God is talking to me. I'm sure God has been talking, it's just been a while since I listened intently. He's telling me to get still. Re-evalute. Get organized. Check out my priority list. Live fully. Love abundantly.

*The trees are FINALLY changing color! I love seeing orange, red, and yellow leaves.

*Every time I open the door to the utility room, clean laundry spills out. I don't mind washing and drying; it's the folding and putting away that are killing me.

*Goliath has strep throat and has missed two days of school this week. What kind of germs are floating around that 1st grade, anyway?!?!?

*At the urging of my friend and co-worker Danielle, I am reading How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk. The title is a mouthful, but the content is right on target.

*We are now in Week 4 of Operation New Floor. Remember this? The new floor will be nice, but I am growing weary of the half-tile/half-concrete look.

*I wonder why some grown women feel the need to draw attention to themselves by being mean and petty to other people, creating a new pile of problems. Drama beyond junior high school is so unbecoming.

*I saw gas today for $1.99. I can't remember the last time I paid less than $2.00 per gallon.

*I had a dream last night that I woke up on Christmas morning and there was a can of refrigerated biscuits in my stocking. They were non-Pillsbury, ordinary buttermilk kind. What a letdown.

*I am baking pumpkin bread this afternoon. I love pumpkin bread.

*Yesterday I said to my #2 son, "I love you, Little Middle." He replied, "I love you too, babe."

Something You Don't Hear Every Day

"Mommy, come see! There's a pickle in the bathtub!"

Election 2008 Snippets

A Conversation:

I picked Goliath up at school after I voted last week. He noticed my "I Voted" sticker.......

Goliath: Mom, you voted today?

Me: Yes, I did.

Goliath: You didn't vote for Barack Obama, DID YOU?!?!?!?

Me: Ummmm, noooooo.........

Goliath: That's good, because he wants to get rid of all the guns in America!

Me: Really? Who told you that?

Goliath: Daddy.

A Picture:

A Palindrome:

Wasilla's all I saw.

A Word:

"If we abide by the principles taught in the Bible, our country will go on prospering and to prosper; but if we and our posterity neglect its instructions and authority, no man can tell how sudden a catastrophe may overwhelm us and bury all our glory in profound obscurity.”
- Daniel Webster

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves, pray, and seek My face, and turn from their evil ways, then I will hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and heal their land." 2 Chronicles 7:14