Thursday, March 4, 2010

Day 7

It has been one week since I entered the hospital. I never imagined I would be here this long! God has been so gracious in placing kind and caring people in my path. Every physician, nurse, orderly, and even the little lady who cleans my room each day has gone out of their way to take excellent care of me. In spite of where I am and what I'm up against, those little glimpses of God's grace are not lost on me.

So, first things first. Today will not be the day I go home. I'm starting to sound like a broken record! Yesterday's abdominal x-ray was clear and normal. It's just a matter of time for everything to come together and work like it should, or so they tell me. I enjoyed 2 more popsicles yesterday, and tried some Jell-o... have I mentioned that I don't really care for Jell-o? The clear liquid diet has been tough for me because 1) it tastes yucky, and 2) I'm not a fan of many clear-liquid items.

This morning the doctor is encouraged at my popsicle progress and I will again be graduated to an all-liquid diet. Right now, not much sounds good, but I think a vanilla milkshake will be part of the plan later today. IF today is a good day, I might be able to try solid food for breakfast/lunch tomorrow, and IF that goes well, I can possibly go home tomorrow afternoon. Those are pretty big IFs!

The second part of this post is actually a continuation of Day 6. After I posted yesterday morning, Dr. M (my oncologist) came by to tell us that the pathology reports had come back from the surgery. The news was not unexpected, but still very hard to hear. The cancer that he removed last week is actually the same ovarian cancer that we dealt with two years ago, but it had re-differentiated itself into a bigger, badder, meaner kind of a cancer. "High-level cancer" were his actual words. Dr. M was encouraged because we caught it early and he got all of the visible cancer out during surgery. He also said, however, that it is unusual for this cancer to change and come back in this way, and of course, that only adds to the frustration to the never-ending "Why Me?" question.

Then again, my sweet husband has gently pointed out...why not me? I was not promised that I will get to walk where I want--only that where I must go, He will walk with me.

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." 2 Corinthians 4:8


Amanda said...

Praying for that milkshake to taste delicious and stay down!!!

wilsonfamily said...

Our thoughts and prayers are with you so many times throughout the day. I can't get far from those thoughts because I hear songs on the radio that make me think of you, which of course makes me smile. I know you are clinging to God's word. I love what Clint said at the end of your post, so true. We love you!!!

"I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior

I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me; this I read
And in my heart I find a need
Of Him to be my savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

Chorus (2x’s)
My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior’s always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be"

Jeri said...

Hi Allyson!
I'm praying that today will be THE day that everything turns around for you and you'll be able to start making your 'go-home' plans. Also praying that Heavenly Hosts fill your room and indeed follow your every care giver through out the hospital. Please know you're never out of our hearts and minds. We're believing God for a miracle in all of this. love you,

Karen said...

Hey baby girl!! Continued prayers for you - I hope your clear liquids set well with you today and TOMORROW will be the big day!!!! Randy and I are coming to Denton tomorrow - I have a thing at UNT on Saturday. I was hoping I might get to see you, if even for a minute, to give you a big hug!! I'll call or text later!! Hang in there, sweet friend! I love you!

Reckless said...

I just noticed that you hate laundry. Well, I happen to list laundry as my favorite household chore, so I'm thinking we should team up on that at some point in the future. I'll come sort, wash, dry, and fold, and you can tell me great stories that will make me laugh. I think it will be a won-win. Praying for you daily and knowing God is getting everything back in working order in His time. Thanks for blessing me again today.

Tina Brown said...

Allison your strength is a witness to all of us who are reading your blog. I pray for a great tasting milk shake to settle in your tummy and you can pack your bags to go home and love on your boys. You are in inspriration to all moms of never giving up on Gods grace and love even in the most despair times. I am praying that you feel a big hug from God right now and that this is a special day for you.

Sherry said...

Lots of love being sent your way, and prayers being prayed for you girly. Clint is right but man, its still so hard to hear isn't it? Just know you aren't alone in this fight and I know you know this but reminding you there is a Mighty Warrior fighting for you (Jeremiah 20:11); a Strong Tower (Psalm 61:3;18:10) that you can run to and He will surround and strengthen you; and an Abba Daddy(Galatians 4:6)who loves you more and hurts along with you and for you and will DO even more than any of us can think of or imagine. (Ephesians 3:20)
And while you have SO many of us that would love to take all of this away and erase it even knowing that we can't we DO know and are committed to walking through this with you guys'
love you

PandaMom said...

So very humbled to hear your precious spirit relinquish your own will to that of the Lord's. He El Roi, the God who sees you. Nothing moves to you that doesn't first pass through Him. You are loved, friend.

Stacie said...

Love, love, love that last comment about Him walking with you. Beautifully written! I'll likely quote you on that one some time on my blog. So many people could benefit from reading that one.

Praying for your progress toward home. Praying for your complete healing. Praying for faith, hope, and love for you all along the journey. Hang in there.

Stacie Smith
cancer mommy to Gavin

Leslie Flores said...

Oh Goodness! I am just now finding out about this and I am in tears. I love how you are uplifting everyone else during this whole ordeal. You are a beautiful princess of God. Much love is sent your way.

Michelle Burleson said...

Trust you to be an exception to the cancer rule.... as you are in everything else. :)