Tuesday, October 14, 2008

There Goes My Heart(s)...

"To be a mother is to forever have your heart go walking around outside your body."

I don't know who said it, but isn't it true? I sometimes look at my boys and literally feel like I can't breathe because I am so overwhelmed with love. Those three little people can evoke incredible emotion within me--joy, fear, pride, anger, anticipation! I love who they are becoming: Goliath: independent, funny, smart. Little Middle: sensitive, compassionate, athletic. Baby: loving, adorable, helpful. I look forward to the days ahead, as they grow from boys to men. I feel an awesome sense of responsibility. Three lives, totally dependent on me and Hubby to help them become what God made them to be. We don't want them to miss out on a single thing! In a lot of ways, I feel like they need me more as they get older, not less. Sure, they can toast their own Eggos, pick out their own clothes (within reason), brush their own teeth. But for the things that really matter--faith, values, morals--they're watching me for direction. They're asking for guidance. And I don't have all the answers.
In our family we have one "umbrella" rule that covers a lot of things: "Be your best." That's it. I so desperately want to be the best mother. A lot of days I wonder if I'm good enough for this Very Important Job, or am I just making a mess of things? Tonight I am thankful that His mercies are new every morning, and that He carries my babies in His hand.
Thank you, Lord, for choosing me for them, and thank you for helping me with them. I love them SO much.

5 comments:

Clym Yeobright said...

Your heart is so beautiful, cousin. P.s. I feel this way about the kids I don't have.

3 Girl Mommy said...

You are a wonderful mother, those boys are so blessed, you are doing so good by them and God will give you the direction you need.

Kandice said...

You know you rock girl!!! Not only do you teach them about Jesus, but you bake..I wish you were my mom!!! :)

The Horton Family said...

I am thankful too for my own. But man, it is a HUGE responsibility! Yours are growing up superbly pal. You and Clint are wonderful Godly parents.

By the way, LOVE the new blog!

Momma Wolg said...

You have such a wonderful heart and such a great Mommy to the boys. You should not only be proud of them, but proud of yourself. No one can be their mom better than you; God gave them to you.