Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Heavy

The three little cowboys and I are at kids' camp with our church this week.  The people, the worship, and the teaching are fantastic.  The food is questionable; the weather is hot.  Both of those were to be expected.
On this day, my heart is heavy.  Precious leaders in our church who I have been privileged to count among my friends moved halfway across the country to serve another church just weeks ago.  This morning their fourth child, a daughter, was born.  Baby Blake has a severe heart malfunction and she remains in critical condition, her hours-old life hanging in the balance. 
My cousin is the mother to a darling five-year-old girl who suffers from a rare muscular disease.  Her enzyme levels skyrocketed today, and she has been admitted to the hospital.  Each "episode" that Ellia has is life-threatening.
I had a regularly-scheduled CT scan a couple of weeks ago.  I received an "all clear," only to have the doctor and radiologist re-read the film and find a small mass.  I will have a biopsy done on Monday to determine what it is and what to do about it.
There is another situation happening within my home that is too large and too hard to put out there just yet.  I am in a place that is isolating and terribly frightening.  My three boys are why I get out of bed each morning and give it my best, in spite of my fear.
Crippling fear.
And then, in a worship service in the middle of nowhere surrounded by hundreds of children, God gave me a song.  He promises to do that, you know:  "He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God."  Psalm 40:3

I am begging him for favor and mercy for myself, and for those who are close to my heart.  He is able, and He is good.

6 comments:

Liz said...

I don't know all the details of what's going on with you personally (outside of what you stated here, of course) but I am praying for you!

The Horton Family said...

Love you H. With all my heart.

Anonymous said...

Praying for you and your family and friends! I think about you often! Take care! You are one of the strongest people I know and admire very much! Your boys are so blessed to have such a wonderful and loving christian mother!

Anonymous said...

I am praying for you and Clint. I want to help if you will let me know what I can do.
Love, Griz

Reckless said...

love you, girl. whatever you need, except baked goods. unless i can buy those, and then, those, too. seriously, you know i'm not saying that casually.

it's heavy, but it's not hopeless. our God is so big, the train of His robe would fill my house and yours and then some.

love, love, love.

Dawn said...

Hi. My children are blessed to be part of your mom's ministry at Sugar Creek. Our ABF class has been praying for you and your family for a while now and I periodically check your blog so I may update them. The day I checked this, this is the verse the Lord gave to me to share with you: Isaiah 41:10- "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Just felt led to share this with you...

Fervently praying,
Dawn McIntyre and the Truthkeepers class of Sugar Creek