Day 7

It has been one week since I entered the hospital. I never imagined I would be here this long! God has been so gracious in placing kind and caring people in my path. Every physician, nurse, orderly, and even the little lady who cleans my room each day has gone out of their way to take excellent care of me. In spite of where I am and what I'm up against, those little glimpses of God's grace are not lost on me.

So, first things first. Today will not be the day I go home. I'm starting to sound like a broken record! Yesterday's abdominal x-ray was clear and normal. It's just a matter of time for everything to come together and work like it should, or so they tell me. I enjoyed 2 more popsicles yesterday, and tried some Jell-o... have I mentioned that I don't really care for Jell-o? The clear liquid diet has been tough for me because 1) it tastes yucky, and 2) I'm not a fan of many clear-liquid items.

This morning the doctor is encouraged at my popsicle progress and I will again be graduated to an all-liquid diet. Right now, not much sounds good, but I think a vanilla milkshake will be part of the plan later today. IF today is a good day, I might be able to try solid food for breakfast/lunch tomorrow, and IF that goes well, I can possibly go home tomorrow afternoon. Those are pretty big IFs!

The second part of this post is actually a continuation of Day 6. After I posted yesterday morning, Dr. M (my oncologist) came by to tell us that the pathology reports had come back from the surgery. The news was not unexpected, but still very hard to hear. The cancer that he removed last week is actually the same ovarian cancer that we dealt with two years ago, but it had re-differentiated itself into a bigger, badder, meaner kind of a cancer. "High-level cancer" were his actual words. Dr. M was encouraged because we caught it early and he got all of the visible cancer out during surgery. He also said, however, that it is unusual for this cancer to change and come back in this way, and of course, that only adds to the frustration to the never-ending "Why Me?" question.

Then again, my sweet husband has gently pointed out...why not me? I was not promised that I will get to walk where I want--only that where I must go, He will walk with me.

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." 2 Corinthians 4:8